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Nightingale-Conant presents Fred L. Miller

Race-Tune Yourself for Maximum Performance

High levels of stress and anxiety that are creeping into your life every day could be the cause of these situations. The good news is, it doesn't have to be that way. There is a solution! I'll reveal it to you in a moment. But first, let me ask you a question: Do you really want to calm down and relax?

I'm not being facetious. Do you believe you work better when you are all pumped-up and gung-ho for the job at hand? Or do you wait until the last minute, the deadline, or until you feel the pressure that motivates you to perform at what you think is your best? Think that question through. Often being pumped-up is too much and actually gets in your way. And, if you wait until the last minute to complete a task, often the undertone of anxiety drowns out your true potential. So here is the solution: If you want to regain your true potential, you need to make calmness a habit — part of your lifestyle.

Relaxation is the equivalent of race-tuning your car

Do you change the oil in your car every 3,000 miles, or do you drive the car full speed until the engine blows up? High-stress Type-A people are like high-performance cars. However, just like high performance cars, they need to be tuned more often and more diligently in order to drive them to their maximum capacity.

How often do you think the Indy 500 teams tune their cars? Before every race! How often do you race-tune yourself? Most of us are trying to drive ourselves like a high-performance automobile but are neglecting to do the necessary tuning and preventative maintenance. Anxiety and stress are our bodies' "check engine lights," warning us that we are out of harmony.

What puts us out of harmony? Unfocused or misfocused thinking is the enemy of both relaxation and concentration. My grandfather used to say that "Worry is a way of praying for what you don't want." River-rafters say, "Watch the river, not the rocks." Skiers say, "You never hit a tree you're not looking at."

The lesson here is to be in the flow of life, the river, not concentrating on the obstacles. Not daydreaming or constantly worrying about what could go wrong or even forcing yourself to think about what you are doing, but relaxing into doing whatever you're doing at the moment — Being "Right Here — Right Now."

I spent 25 years in the high-stress entertainment industry, and in those years I learned I needed to change, because my job and the industry were not going to. I didn't need to learn how to just calm down, I needed to learn how to make calmness a lifestyle and how to be race-tuned regardless of my industry or the people I was working with.

I began asking other people how to relax. They told me to go to Las Vegas. Go fishing. Get a date. These solutions were good for other people, but not necessarily for me. I read a book that said to sit quietly for 45 minutes every day. Had I been capable of sitting quietly for 45 minutes, I would not have needed the book. Still, I needed help. I wasn't looking for deep spirituality, a new religion, or how to get to heaven. All I was looking for when I began my quest for relaxation was peace of mind. I was frazzled. I wasn't running my life; instead, it was running me. I was the proverbial hamster scooting along as fast as I could on the wheel of life and forever losing the race. I needed a break.

I needed to discover what would make me relax — not just relax when I was stressed, but how to make relaxation a part of my lifestyle.

This is where many books on relaxation fall apart. They ask you to believe in someone else's way of doing things.

In my search for a solution, I came upon the words of T.K.V. Desikachar, an internationally known yoga teacher who said, "East Indian forms of relaxation often are not suitable for Westerners. The technique a person uses must be compatible with their own culture." Desikachar's words were good news to me and helped me understand that I didn't have to become a Hindu or a Buddhist or a yogi to learn to relax, and neither do you.

What I discovered is that what makes you feel content also makes you relax. In other words, you must find out exactly what helps you relax through your own experience. This is the only way to find a solution that will become a part of your lifestyle and not just something you try for a week or so.

How to make relaxation a part of your race-tuned lifestyle

For some people, getting race-tuned might be getting close to nature, a walk in the park, planting flowers in their back yard, or meditating for 45 minutes in the morning.

I started with a short breathing exercise and then a visualization, both of which are one-point-of-focus techniques. I had set a goal of practicing five minutes a day, but I needed more than one thing to occupy my mind for those five minutes. Hence, two different exercises that I like to do. (See "Two Relaxation Techniques to Get You Started.") And, I have been able to stick with them because they are mine. I discovered them through exploring myself and finding that they made me content and that I was willing to do them day after day. I also found that I couldn't sit still for longer than five minutes, so I tried moving meditations, such as tai chi and yoga. Both emphasized paying attention to my breathing and moving. So now I go to a class a couple of times a week, but what about the other days? On the other days, I sit quietly and use the breathing and focus techniques that I've learned in class. I like them, so I continue to use them.

Also, here's another thought for you. Relaxation happens in the gap between thoughts. So, the key is to create more gaps. You can find your own techniques by answering the question, What relaxes you? What is it that you like to do? Walk, garden, or cook? Are you at ease while washing dishes or playing the piano?

Let's say golf is your thing. OK, that's good for a few hours on the weekend. But what are you going to do for the rest of the week? Polish your clubs? Here's a suggestion: How about using relaxation techniques that will improve your life and your golf game. For instance, sit quietly for a few minutes each day and practice rhythmic breathing that will help you before each shot. Imagine yourself on the most beautiful golf course in the world. This is your nature spot. See yourself effortlessly making your swings. Listen for the sound of the ball dropping into the cup after a perfect putt. Now you are using the ancient techniques of breath, sound, and visualization. Golf can be a moving meditation, or for some people it causes heart attacks. It depends on how you play the game and how you live your life. Consistency is the key. Five or 10 minutes a day does you much more good than an hour or two once a week. Like changing the oil in your car, it cannot be something you do when it's convenient. It must be done constantly and before every race!

Remember, the techniques that suit the teacher may not suit the student, so don't be turned away by these particular examples. With all relaxation activities, use only those that stir your soul and make you feel content.

1) How to Calm Down and Feel Better in Less than 10 Seconds — Even When You're Feeling Absolutely, Totally Nuts: As you try this exercise, keep your eyes open and don't stop reading.

• Inhale.
• Now exhale.
• Feels good, doesn't it?
• Inhale again — a little deeper this time.
• Now slow down your exhale.
• Stretch it out.
• One more time — a long, slow inhale.
• Pay attention as your breath comes in.
• Don't think about it; just watch your breath as it fills your lungs.
• Now exhale — feel it, watch it. Exhale completely.

You now know how to calm down and how to use three deep breaths to bring peace of mind in less than 10 seconds. In fact, this breath exercise will work for you anywhere, at any time. Try doing it in the so-called "express lane" at the supermarket, or at a restaurant when your three-minute egg hasn't arrived after 10 minutes. And don't worry; no one else will ever know what you're doing.

2) Use Touch as a Point of Focus

During one of the many times I tried to quit smoking, someone gave me a small, flat stone. "Treat it like Greek worry beads," she advised me. "When you want a cigarette, rub the stone." When I was thinking about having a cigarette, I would take the stone out of my pocket and hold it, look at it, then turn it over and over in my hand. After I'd spent a few seconds holding the stone, the urge for a cigarette would pass. Why? Because I couldn't think about the stone and a cigarette at the same time.

Of course quitting smoking is more than merely taking your mind off cigarettes, and in the end I did quit for good. And, to this day, I still carry a small stone with me. Every time I reach into my pocket for change, the stone is there to remind me that I can clear my mind by holding it. If I'm feeling nervous or annoyed, into my pocket I go to stop the rumbling in my head.

The sense of touch is so engaging and convincing, it has been incorporated into a variety of devotional rituals. People of many different religions, for example, hold strings of beads and, while fingering each one, recite a designated prayer to go with it.

To experiment with touch as a point of focus, you'll need to select an object from your surroundings, such as a lucky charm, a talisman, or a stone.

• Sit quietly, holding your chosen object, and take three deep breaths.
• Closing your eyes, concentrate on the object in your hand.
• Whenever you notice your thoughts starting to drift off, squeeze or rub the object to bring your attention back to it.
• When you are ready, take a few deep breaths and open your eyes.

Learn more about Fred Miller and his powerful book How to Calm Down: Three Deep Breaths to Peace of Mind.

© 2008 Nightingale-Conant, Inc. All rights reserved.