During these especially challenging economic times, many are seeking new employment positions or preparing for possible job searches.  Besides dusting off your resume, may I suggest you do some mind/body work that could be invaluable as you market yourself?  After all, marketing yourself successfully requires that you have belief and trust in yourself as a valuable asset to a prospective employer.  However, did you also realize that you may have some internal reprogramming to accomplish before you can truly believe and trust yourself?  Speaking from my nine years of experience as a HypnoCounselor, my advice is to begin with your core foundation that defines who you are and that secures belief and trust in yourself.  That foundation is strongest when it is built upon your solid acceptance of truly loving yourself. Below is a simplified list of seven suggestions that will define what "loving yourself" means and how to achieve that belief system. Importantly, the concept of loving oneself applies on two separate levels, the conscious as well as the subconscious level. Yet, imperative to note is that your subconscious mind is the vastly more powerful presence that dictates to the other more subservient, conscious mind.

First, Loving Yourself means first totally accepting yourself just as you are regardless of any flaws, emotional baggage, errors, mistakes, or any wrongdoing of the past; do it now.

Second, Loving Yourself means letting go of any past guilt, fear, sadness, grief, anger, disappointments, resentments, hatreds, and inferiority feelings (in fact, all negative emotions) still clinging inside you; do it now. 

Third, Loving Yourself requires that you adopt an attitude of forgiveness for yourself and all others who may have hurt you, intentionally or unintentionally.  This completes the release of all that was negative and, subsequently, creates fertile soil for love to flourish; do it now. 

Fourth, Loving Yourself recognizes your innate preciousness, great self-worth, self-empowerment, and innate ability to give and receive love; believe it is so. 

Fifth, Loving Yourself means you wish only the best for your happiness and well-being; believe it is so. 

Sixth, Loving Yourself means you are also able to love others with the same parameters and precepts as you love yourself. 

Seventh, Loving Yourself means you are just as good as any other person and you are no better than any other person even though your abilities and talents may differ; believe it is so.

So concludes the shortened version of how you truly love yourself on a conscious level. 

However, if you have yet to communicate all of the above on your subconscious level, you must be sure to inform your subconscious that this is how you choose to be and live in happiness and well-being.  If you follow the practice outlined for the conscious mind without successfully programming your subconscious with these beliefs, your attempts to love yourself may meet with resistance and may be unsuccessful.

One of the most effective pathways to communicate with your subconscious is through hypnosis and self-hypnosis.  Hypnosis involves an altered state of consciousness, either alpha state or deeper, that allows your subconscious to come to the forefront of your mind and to directly receive your suggestions/directions.  On the other hand, if your conscious mind is at the forefront, in charge, it will block all communications to your subconscious with only a few exceptions too complicated to discuss here. 

 

There are specific guidelines for selecting the best format and word choice for effectively communicating with your subconscious, and I would encourage you to listen for more instruction and enjoy the experiential hypnosis in my bestselling Nightingale-Conant program Reprogram Your Subconscious: How to Use Hypnosis to Get What You Really Want. Once you have made the choice to love yourself and have actively communicated this on both conscious and subconscious levels in the ways suggested, I am confident you will have arrived at your goal of truly loving yourself.  I might also add, you will benefit enormously in spiritual growth as well. 

Coping With the Stress of “Difficult People”

We can recover from serious stresses such as moving, job loss, flood, and stock market losses.  However, one of the potentially serious stresses that may damage one’s physical well-being as much as any of the above is a “difficult person” issue that continues long term.  That kind of stress has no conclusion; it’s a “no win” situation.  It’s impossible to please (for any appreciable amount of time) a difficult person because these people get an emotional payoff by creating anger, fear, guilt, and all those kinds of negative emotions.   It’s almost as if they enjoy others suffering as they do, something like, misery likes company.

At the core of these difficult people is usually a low self-esteem problem.  When people feel that their self-esteem is being attacked, they may take their bat and ball and go home, or they may turn that bat on the unsuspecting person who said or did something to push their low self-esteem button.  Additionally, difficult people are often stymied in their personal development, consequently resorting to very child-like behaviors; hence, the “I will get back at you for hurting me attitude.” In fact, it was probably in their childhood when their self-esteem was first wounded consequently, they may still react from that platform.

When one attempts to deal with  difficult people, it becomes apparent that there is no reasoning with them.  One explanation may be they have an attitude that their view of the world is the only “right” way and others are just wrong. Being right is a protective measure to ensure that they really are "better" because somewhere in their subconscious they accepted the belief that they are not as good as others. Thus, they are unwilling and probably unable to see that others may differ from their perspective yet still have a view just as valid as theirs.  With more rational people, it’s more likely you can strike a compromise, but not so with difficult people.  Difficult people are unlikely to “agree just to disagree” and leave it at that. Instead, they have to be right!

Unfortunately, many of us find ourselves in a job with a supervisor or co-worker who belongs to this “difficult people” category.  No matter what we do, it seems we are unable to please this person.  Hence, extreme stress grips us and we may experience ulcers, heart problems, colitis, headaches, acid reflux, etc.  How does one cope with this type of stress so as to avoid the negative emotional and physical consequences? 

As a HypnoCounselor, I employ hypnosis and hypnotic suggestions enabling my clients to first relax totally and then avoid all tension and anxiety or physical, mental, emotional, spiritual manifestations of stress.  Other hypnotic suggestions guide them to problem solve using their logical and intuitive minds.  Perhaps keeping a diary of all interactions with difficult people may prove helpful for the future. Then, whatever is beyond the clients’ control, they instruct their subconscious to let it go. Since the clients are directly communicating to their subconscious levels, these suggestions to let go are figuratively "downloaded" and create the positive behaviors that have been requested.

The client also needs to alter his attitude about the difficult person, recognizing the difficult person is reacting to his or her own issues rather than to anyone personally.  It is almost like a two-year-old having a tantrum.  You would not take the behavior of a two-year old personally, right?  Thus, the client, from that perspective, avoids getting drawn into the negativity.

Ultimately, we all have choices of how much we are able to tolerate from difficult people.  Sometimes we must transfer departments or leave the job altogether.  Nevertheless, HypnoCounseling can help with stress management and with deciding when you have had enough and must take other action.  Remember the answers are within you.