One of life's fundamental truths
states: Ask and you shall receive. Isn't that simple? Of course it is. The
world responds to those who ask.
Most people in this world, however,
find themselves in settled lives,
never really achieving or receiving
what they hold in their dreams ...
because they just never ask.
The truth is, when you take control
of your life by asking for what
you want and need, you can accomplish
anything your heart desires.
No doubt, you know of people who
seem to walk into any situation and
any relationship expecting success.
They achieve success again and
again because they've learned —
and acted on — one simple truth:
You will reach your goals only
with the help of others.
Here are seven ways to ensure
that your asking gets results.
1. Ask with confidence.
If you ask with confidence, you will get more than those who are hesitant and
uncertain. A confident state of mind will affect everything else: your body
posture, eye contact, tone of voice, and choice of words. Confidence, however,
does not mean being brash, arrogant, or conceited. When you've figured out what
you want to ask for, do it with certainty, boldness, and confidence. The only
downside is that your request may be denied. You are in no worse position than
before, and it simply means that you need to look for another route for results.
2. Ask clearly.
Be precise. Think clearly about your request. Take time to prepare. Use a notepad
to pick words that have the greatest impact. Words are powerful, so choose them
carefully. Ask for what you want, not for what you don't want. At the
same time, be careful what you ask for. More often than not, you get exactly
what you've requested!
3. Ask someone who can give it to you.
Before you ask someone for something, make an assessment of whether or not that
person will be able to give it to you. Some people are very qualified and motivated
to help. Others just aren't capable of delivering. Watch people and review
that capacity. Do you know that this person is capable of delivering what you're
about to ask him or her, or are you just hoping the potential is there?
4. Ask consistently.
Some people fold after making one timid request. And they quit too soon. Keep
asking until you find the answers. In sales, for example, there are usually
four or five no's before you get a yes. Top producers understand this.
When you find a way to ask that works, keep on using it.
5. Ask creatively and with humor.
Humor captures our attention and breaks down our defenses. Creativity disarms
our resistance and opens our minds to new possibilities. In this age of global
competition, your asking may get lost in the crowd, unheard by the decision
makers you hope to reach. There is a way around this. If you want someone's
attention, don't send an ordinary email, fax, or letter. Use your creativity
to dream up a high-impact introduction. You may not want to go so far as the
saleswoman who sent a chief buyer a homing pigeon with her card attached to
one leg, and on the card she had written, "If you want to know more about
our product, just throw our representative out the window." Think of what
you could do to create a powerful impact with your most important prospects
and don't be surprised when those impenetrable doors swing wide open to welcome
you in.
6. Remember: You must give something to get something.
As Zig Ziglar says, "You can get everything in life you want if you will
just help enough other people get what they want." When you're asking,
always be sure to explain how the other party will benefit and win because they've
acted positively on your request.
7. Ask sincerely.
You can have anything you want if you want it desperately enough! Keep that
unbridled passion for your purpose, project, or goal stirring in your mind as
you begin to ask. When you truly need help, people will respond. Sincerity involves
showing a willingness to be vulnerable. Tell it the way it is, lumps and all.
Don't worry if your presentation isn't perfect; ask from your heart. Keep it
simple and honest, and people will open up to you. Maintain eye contact throughout
the entire asking process. This further demonstrates your integrity, trustworthiness,
and passion for the subject.
You can turn your life around,
regardless of the obstacles you currently
face. Get clear. Get passionate.
Take a giant step past that fear.
And if at first you don't succeed,
take this minor setback as a signal
to you ... to ask again!
Learn more about Mark Victor Hansen and the power of asking in his The Aladdin Factor.