Two young boys were raised by
an alcoholic father. As they grew
older, they moved away from
that broken home, each going his own
way in the world. Several years later,
they happened to be interviewed separately
by a psychologist who was analyzing
the effects of drunkenness on
children in broken homes. His
research revealed that the two men
were strikingly different from each
other. One was a clean-living teetotaler;
the other, a hopeless drunk like
his father. The psychologist asked each
of them why he developed the way he
did, and each gave an identical
answer, "What else would you expect
when you have a father like mine?"
That story was revealed by Dr. Hans
Selye, internationally renowned
Canadian physician and scientist
known as the father of stress. A medical
pioneer, he devoted the majority of
his years to the exploration of biological
stress. And he related the story of
the two sons of the drunken father in
an article for New Realities.
And the story demonstrates a cardinal
rule implicit in stress, health, and
human behavior. According to R. H.
Schuller, "It is not what happens to
you in life that makes the difference. It
is how you react to each circumstance
you encounter that determines the
result. Every human being in the same
situation has the possibilities of choosing
how he will react — either positively
or negatively."
Thus, stress is not necessarily
caused by stressor agents; rather, it is
caused by the way stressor agents are
perceived, interpreted, or appraised in
each individual case. Outside events
and people upset some more than others,
because they are looked upon and
dealt with in entirely different ways.
The stressors may even be the same in
each case, yet the reaction will almost
always be different in different people.
Armed with that kind of information,
it would seem that we can greatly
improve our reactions to stressful
situations. What seems to be a cruel
world to one person might be filled
with challenge and opportunity to
another. It is our reaction that makes
the difference.
Learn more about Earl Nightingale and his all-time bestselling programs The Strangest Secret and Lead the Field.