ONLY A MEDIATOR OR ARBITRATOR
CAN RESOLVE A DEADLOCK
A deadlock is when neither side sees any point in talking
because past meetings have not changed either side's position.
Only a mediator or an arbitrator can resolve a deadlock.
You need to bring in a third party. To be effective, the third
party must be perceived as neutral.
Danger Point: You are trying to mediate a problem but one
of the parties does not perceive the third party as neutral.
Solution: Make a small concession to that person so that
you service the perception of neutrality.
WHEN ASKED FOR A SMALL CONCESSION,
ASK FOR SOMETHING IN RETURN
Whenever you are asked for a small concession in the
negotiation, ask for something in return. Say, "If we can do
that for you, what can you do for us?" Often the other side
will make a concession to you, and you will be pleasantly
surprised at the size of the concession.
Danger Point: A new customer asks you for a small concession,
and you're so happy to have the customer's business
that you say, "Sure, no problem." A week later the customer
calls for another concession. From then on, he or she
never stops asking for concessions.
Solution: When you're asked for that first small concession,
ask for something in return. It stops the other person
from constantly grinding on you.
LOOK OUT FOR PEOPLE
NIBBLING ON YOU
You are the most vulnerable when you think that the
negotiation is all resolved. You have probably been the victim
of a Nibble. You've been selling a car or a boat. The pressure
and the tension of the negotiations have faded away.
Just as the buyers are about to sign their names on the check,
they say, "That does include a full tank of gas, doesn't it?"
Danger Point: You're vulnerable for two reasons. You've
just made a sale, and when you feel good, you tend to give
things away that you otherwise wouldn't. Second, you're
thinking, "Oh no! I thought that this was all resolved. I
don't want to have to go back and renegotiate the whole
thing. I might lose it all."
Solution: The countertactic to the Nibble is to gently
make the other person feel cheap. You are at a sensitive
point in the negotiations, so do it with a big grin on your
face. "Oh, come on. We worked out a super deal for you
here. Don't make me throw in a tank of gas too. Fair
enough?"
LOOK OUT FOR GOOD GUY/BAD GUY
Whenever you are negotiating with two people, look out
for them using this tactic on you. One of them appears to be
mean, tough, and totally opposed to your proposal. The other
is warm, friendly, and very sympathetic to your proposal.
Danger Point: You are psychologically drawn to the Good
Guy and want to please; humor her by making concessions.
Solution: Counter the tactic by letting them know you realize
what they're doing. It's such a well-known tactic that
when you say to them, "Oh come on! You're not going to play
Good Guy/Bad Guy with me, are you?" they become embarrassed
that they were caught and will back off.
PROJECT THAT YOU'RE PREPARED
TO WALK AWAY
The number one pressure point in negotiations is your
ability to project that you are prepared to walk away if you
can't get what you want.
Danger Point: You have fallen in love with the car or
home for which you're negotiating, and the seller knows it.
Solution: Before you go into negotiations, research your
options and let the other person know that you have options.
It doesn't mean that you won't get the one that you want. It
does mean that you'll be a more powerful negotiator, because
the other person will sense that you have options, and that
gives you power.
TIE UP ALL THE DETAILS UPFRONT
Time pressure is one of the factors that always affects the
outcome of negotiations. People become flexible when
they're under time pressure, and they will make concessions.
Try to resolve all the issues well ahead of a deadline.
Danger Point: The other side says to you, "That's not a big
problem. We can work that out later."
Solution: Realize that it might not be a big problem if you
resolved it now. It may become a very big problem if you wait
until the last moment when you are vulnerable because
you're under time pressure.
Learn more about Roger Dawson and his bestselling
audio program The Secrets of Power Negotiating.