When I was 21 years old, a friend of mine and I decided to go off
to see the world. Many of our friends were going to Europe and
hitchhiking around with rucksacks. We decided to be different
and go to Africa instead. It never occurred to us to ask why no
one else was going to Africa. We found out later, much to our great regret.
To get to our destination in Africa, we had to cross the Sahara. We started
out from London, riding bicycles across France and Spain. The labor was
excruciating, the progress slow, and the pleasure was nonexistent.
In Gibraltar, we sold our bicycles and invested our last few dollars in
an old Land Rover. We crossed from Gibraltar to Tangier into Algeria. We
were on our way in Africa. Still, there was one obstacle between us and
the greenery we were anxious to see. It was that darn old desert.
We had no idea how serious and how difficult this adventure was to be.
As we moved south across the desert, we encountered endless problems,
any one of which could have ended our trip and, probably, our lives. Yet,
it was during this desert crossing that I learned one of the most important
lessons in my life about attitude.
The French, who had controlled
Algeria for many years, had marked a
path across the desert with black 55-
gallon oil drums. The drums were
spaced exactly five kilometers apart.
As we drove and came to an oil drum,
the next drum, which was five kilometers
ahead, would pop up on the horizon,
and the last oil drum, which was
five kilometers behind, would fall off
the horizon. Wherever we were, we
could always see two oil drums at a
time — the one we had just left and the
one we were headed toward. To cross
one of the greatest deserts in the
world, all we had to do was take it
"one oil barrel at a time." We did not
have to cross the entire desert at once.
For me, crossing the Sahara was a
metaphor for life. In order to maintain
a positive attitude under all circumstances,
all you have to do is take it
one step, one oil barrel, at a time. As
Thomas Carlyle said, "Our great business
is not to see what lies dimly at a
distance, but to do what lies clearly at
hand."
In any endeavor we can choose to be
positive and constructive, sit down
and think through the situation, and
then begin to deal with it one oil barrel
— one small achievement — at a time.
Of course, this isn't always as easy as it
sounds. We all must overcome the four
obstacles that tend to get in the way of
our maintaining a positive attitude.
OVERCOMING THE
FOUR OBSTACLES TO A
POSITIVE ATTITUDE
These obstacles are fear, worry, anger,
and doubt. When things are not working
out the way we had expected, our
immediate response is to become fearful
and uneasy. We are afraid that we
will lose our money, waste our effort,
or forfeit our emotional or physical
investment in what we have done. If
we are not careful, we start thinking of
our potential losses rather than focusing
on our potential gains.
Fear triggers worry, and we begin to
use our power of imagination to create
all sorts of negative images that cause
us unhappiness and insomnia, and
make us unable to perform efficiently.
Fear and worry create anger, or what
has been called the "victim complex."
Instead of moving constantly forward in
the direction of our dreams, we begin to
react and respond, and to blame other
people and other situations for our
problems and challenges at hand.
Surrounding these negative emotions
is the mental quality of doubt.
Doubt is a fertile breeding ground for
the other three negative emotions.
Therefore, to eliminate these obstacles
to positive thinking, you need to systematically
eradicate the weakening
emotion of doubt.
How do you do this? It's simple. The
only real antidote to fear, worry, anger,
and doubt is positive action toward the
achievement of some worthwhile ideal.
Psychologists tell us that the key to
dealing effectively with life is what
they call "cognitive control." This is
the assumption that you can think
about, and concentrate on, only one
thing at a time, either positive or negative.
Successful people consciously
choose to think about what they want,
rather than what they don't want. As a
result, they are continuously taking
action toward their goals, rather than
spending their time thinking and worrying
about the current difficulties or
the inevitable challenges that are sure
to face them.
WHAT IS HOLDING YOU
BACK?
People who never achieve success
do so because they fall in love with
their excuses. It isn't the actual truth
about yourself and your abilities that
hurts you; it is the things you consider
to be true but have no basis in truth
that hold you back.
We naturally fall in love with our
reasons for not moving ahead. Even if
someone challenges those reasons, or tells us that we have the capacity to
accomplish so much more, we will
often argue with them.
We attempt to prove to ourselves
and others that our limitations are real,
and the less justification these ideals
or beliefs have, the more adamant we
become in attempting to prove them to
others. Richard Bach wrote this beautiful
line: "Argue for your limitations,
and sure enough, they're yours."
So how do you change your beliefs?
The starting point is to get up the
courage to question these self-limiting
beliefs seriously. Question your basic
premises. Check your assumptions.
Ask yourself, What assumptions am I
making about myself or my situation
that might not be true? Think about
them. Remember, most of our self-limiting
beliefs have no basis whatsoever
in fact. They are based on information
and ideas that we have accepted as
true, sometimes in early childhood,
and to the degree we accept them as
true, they become true for us.
You can always tell what your true
values and beliefs are by looking at
your actions. It isn't what you say or
wish or hope or intend that demonstrates
what you really believe. It is
only what you do. It is only the behaviors
that you engage in. It is only the
actions you choose to undertake. And
out of your actions come all the elements
of your life. You are where you
are and what you are because of what
you have done in the past. But the
wonderful news is, the past doesn't
have to hold you back. That's because
we are in a perpetual state of becoming.
A STATE OF BECOMING
The clearer you are about your ideal
result or future vision, the easier it is
for you to alter your actions and
behaviors in the short term to assure
that you get where you want to be in
the long term. You have no limitations
on your potential except for those you
believe you have. As Walter D. Wintle
wrote:
The Man Who Thinks He Can
If you think you're beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you would like to win, but think
you can't,
It's almost a cinch you won't.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man;
But sooner or later the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.
THINK LIKE A WINNER
Thinking like a winner is the first
step to living like a winner. You will
become that which you think about
most of the time. You are the architect of
your personality and character. Your
goal, your desire, is to be as successful,
happy, and prosperous as you possibly
can be in every aspect of your life.
Therefore, the systematic development
of a positive attitude is something that
you need to work on every hour of every
day. Continue to work on yourself and
your thinking until you reach the point
where you absolutely, positively believe
yourself capable of winning in anything
you sincerely want to accomplish.
People succeed not because they
have remarkable characteristics or
qualities. The most successful people
are quite ordinary, just like you and
me. Most of us start off poor and confused.
We spend many years getting
some sort of direction in our lives. But
the turning point comes when we
begin to believe that we have within us
that divine spark that can lead us
onward and upward to the accomplishment
of anything that we really
want in life. So, become the man or
woman who thinks, I can. And when
you reach the point where you feel
unshakable confidence in yourself and
your abilities, nothing will be able to
stop you, not even the Sahara. Just stay
your course and take each challenge ...
one oil barrel at a time.
THE 3 DIFFERENCES BETWEEN
OPTIMISTS & PESSIMISTS
In his book Learned Optimism, Dr. Seligman claims there are three
fundamental differences between optimists and pessimists.
- The optimist sees a setback as temporary, while the pessimist sees it as permanent. The
optimist sees an unfortunate event — something limited in time and that has no real
impact on the future. The pessimist sees a negative event as permanent, as part of life,
as destiny, as an indication of more to come.
- The optimist sees difficulties as specific, while the pessimist sees them as pervasive.
When things go wrong for the optimist, he or she looks at the event as an isolated incident
largely disconnected from other things that are going on in his or her life. An optimist
perceives an unfortunate business incident as just that — a business incident. The pessimist
would question the validity of the entire business or business direction. The pessimist would
tend to feel helpless, unable to make a difference to correct the issue.
- The optimist sees events as external, while the pessimist tends to interpret events as
personal. When things go wrong, the optimist will tend to see the setback as resulting
from external forces over which one has little control but which one can overcome. The pessimist
takes negative events personally and as an indication of a larger pervasive personal
shortcoming.
Picture your Future Success — and Get It!
Take every opportunity to surround yourself with images of what success means to you: Get
brochures on new cars you desire; get magazines containing pictures of beautiful homes,
beautiful clothes, well-toned bodies, and other things you will obtain as a result of achieving
the success that you are aiming for. Each time you see or visualize those images, you trigger
the thoughts, feelings, and actions that make them materialize in your life. But, don't wish for
them ... that is day dreaming. Think about them as absolute certainties in your future and
focus on who you must be today to achieve these icons of your future success.
6 STEPS TO ASSURE A POSITIVE ATTITUDE
There are six things you can do to assure that your attitude is the very best it
can be under all circumstances.
- Whatever challenges you face, focus on the future rather than the past. Instead of worrying
about who did what or who is to blame, focus on where you want to be and what
you want to do. Get a clear mental image of your ideal successful future, and then take
whatever action you can to begin moving in that direction. As the New Testament says, "Let
the dead bury the dead." Let the past take care of itself, and get your mind, your thoughts,
your mental images on the future.
- Whenever you're faced with a difficulty, focus on the solution rather than on the problem.
Think and talk about the ideal solution to the obstacle or setback, rather than
wasting time rehashing and reflecting on the problem. Solutions are inherently positive,
whereas problems are inherently negative. The instant that you begin thinking in terms of
solutions, you become more positive and constructive.
- Assume that something good is hidden within each difficulty or challenge. Dr. Norman
Vincent Peale used to say, "Whenever God wants to give us a gift, he wraps it up in
a problem." Lloyd Conant said it this way: "You don't earn the right to solve big problems
until you have solved the small ones." In other words, the bigger the gift, the greater the
success you have coming, the bigger the problem you will receive and must surmount.
- Assume that whatever situation you are facing at the moment is exactly the right situation
you need to ultimately be successful. The situation has been sent to you to help you
learn something, to help you become better, to help you expand and grow. What good is
it to think anything else?
- In every challenge, look for a valuable lesson. Assume that every setback contains a
lesson that is essential for you to learn. Only when you learn this lesson will you be
smart enough and wise enough to go on and achieve the big goals that you have set for
yourself. Again, since you can think about only one thing at a time, if you are busy looking
for the lesson, you cannot simultaneously think about the difficulty or the obstacle. You
will always find the lesson if you look for it.
- Whenever you have a goal that is unachieved, a difficulty that is unresolved, or a problem
that is blocking you from getting where you want to go, sit down with a pen and
paper and make a list of every single thing that you could possibly do to resolve the situation.
Write down every idea, ridiculous or not. The more you think on paper, the more you will take
control over your conscious mind and focus it where you want — on the solution. (Don't miss The Greatest Problem Solving Tool by Earl Nightingale in the next issue of AdvantEdge).
Learn more about Brian Tracy and
his wealth of books and audio programs.