We know that the body has a
natural bias toward health
and energy. It's designed to
last for 100 years with proper care and
maintenance. When something goes
wrong with any part of our body, we
experience it in the form of pain or
discomfort of some kind.
We know that when our body is not
functioning smoothly and painlessly,
something is wrong, and we take
action to correct it. We go to a physician;
we take pills; we undergo physical
therapy, massage, or chiropractic.
We know that if we ignore pain or discomfort
for any period of time, it could
lead to something more serious.
In the same sense, nature also gives
us a way to tell what's right for us and
what's wrong for us in life. Just as
nature gives us physical pain to guide
us toward doing or not doing things in
the physical realm, nature gives us
emotional pain to guide us toward
doing or not doing things in the emotional
or mental realm. The wonderful
thing is that you're constructed so that
if you simply listen carefully to yourself
— to your mind, your body, and
your emotions — and follow the guidance
you're given, you can dramatically
enhance the quality of your life.
Just as the natural physical state is
health and vitality, the natural emotional
state is peace and happiness.
Whenever you experience a deviation
from peace and happiness, it's an indication
that something is amiss.
Something is wrong with what you're
thinking, doing, or saying. You're an
incredibly complex organism, and
your feelings of ease and unease, happiness
and unhappiness, can be triggered
by a myriad of factors. But the
bottom line is that your feeling of inner
happiness is the best possible indicator
of what you should be doing more of
and what you should be doing less of.
Unhappiness is to your life as pain
is to your body. It's sent as a messenger
to tell you that what you're doing is
wrong for you.
Whenever you feel stressed, anxious,
worried, or uneasy about any
part of your life, it's nature's way of
telling you that something is wrong.
It's a message that there's something
that you need to address or deal with.
There's something that you need to do
more or less of. There's something that
you need to get into or out of. Very
often, you'll suffer from what has been
called "divine discontent." You'll feel
fidgety and uneasy for a reason or reasons
that are unclear to you. You'll be
dissatisfied with the status quo.
Sometimes, you'll be unable to sleep.
Sometimes, you'll be angry or irritable.
Very often, you'll get upset with things
that have nothing to do with the real
issue. You'll have a deep inner sense
that something isn't as it should be,
and you'll often feel like a fish on a
hook, wriggling and squirming emotionally
to get free.
And that is a good thing. Divine discontent
always comes before a positive
life change. If you were perfectly
satisfied, you would never take any
action to improve or change your circumstances.
Only when you're dissatisfied
for some reason do you have the
inner motivation to engage in the
outer behaviors that lead you onward
and upward.
When something is making you
unhappy, for any reason, the situation
will tend to get worse rather than better.
So avoid the temptation to engage in
denial, to pretend that nothing is
wrong, to wish and hope and pray that,
whatever it is, it will go away and you
won't have to do anything. The fact is
that you will ultimately need to face the
situation and do something about it.
Einstein once said, you can't solve a
problem on the same level that you
meet it. This means that wrestling with
a challenge is usually fruitless and
frustrating. For example, if two people
who are in a relationship together are
constantly fighting and negotiating and
looking for some way to resolve their
difficulties, they're attempting to solve
the problem on the wrong level.
Dealing with the problem on a higher
level, those people would ask the question,
"In terms of being happy, is this
the right relationship for us in the first
place?" As soon as you begin to use
happiness as your measure of rightness,
you begin to see the situation in
an entirely different light.
Many people work very hard and
experience considerable frustration
trying to do a particular job. However,
in terms of their own happiness, the
right answer might be to do something
else, or to do what they're doing in a
different place, or to do it with different
people — or all three.
3 Questions to Happiness
Following are three questions for
you to answer in regard to happiness
and satisfaction. Many people refuse
to even consider these questions
because they're afraid that if they do,
they won't like the answers. But nevertheless,
have the courage to clearly
define your life in your own terms.
Here are the questions; write down
each at the top of a new sheet of paper,
and then write as many answers to
each one as you possibly can.
The first question is: "What would
it take for me to be perfectly happy?"
Write down every single thing that you
can imagine would be in your life if
you were perfectly happy at this very
moment. Write down things such as
health, prosperity, loving relationships,
inner peace, travel, cars,
clothes, homes, money, and so on. Let
your mind run freely. Imagine that you
have no limitations at all. Write down
everything whether or not you think
you have the capacity to acquire it or
achieve it in the short term. Your first
job is always to be clear about what it
would take to have your ideal life.
The second question is a little
tougher. Write down this question at
the top of a page: "In what situations
in my life, and with whom, am I not
perfectly happy?" Force yourself to
think about every part of your day,
from morning to night, and write down
every element that makes you unhappy
or dissatisfied in any way. Remember,
proper diagnosis is half the cure.
Identifying the problematic situations
is the first step to resolving them.
The third question will give you
some important guidelines. Write
down at the top of a sheet of paper
these words: "In looking over my life,
where and when have I been the happiest?
Where was I, who else was
there, and what was I doing?"
Once you have the answers to these
questions, think about what you can
do, starting immediately, to begin creating
this life that you dream of. It may
take you a week, a month, or years, but
that doesn't matter. Every single thing
you do that moves you closer to your
ideal vision will be rewarding in itself.
Use Solitude to Find the Answers
Most people can't find the solutions
to their lives because they're too busy
being busy. They never take the time to
listen to their quiet inner voice and the
solutions it can prescribe. As Catherine
Ponder points out, "Men and women
begin to become great when they begin
to take time quietly by themselves,
when they begin to practice solitude."
Yet, the irony is that most people keep
busy doing nothing, such as watching
television, that it's highly unusual for
them to deliberately sit and do nothing.
So, here are three methods you can use
to practice solitude.
- To get the full benefit from your
periods of solitude, you must sit
quietly for at least 30 to 60 minutes at
a time. If you haven't done it before, it
will take the first 25 minutes or so for
you to stop fidgeting or moving. You'll
almost have to hold yourself physically
in your seat. You'll have an almost
irresistible desire to get up and do
something. But you must persist.
- Solitude requires that you sit
quietly, perfectly still, back and
head erect, eyes open, without cigarettes,
candy, writing materials, music,
or any interruptions whatsoever for at
least 30 minutes. An hour is better.
- Become completely relaxed, and
breathe deeply. Just let your
mind flow. Don't deliberately try to
think about anything. The harder you
"don't try," the more powerfully it
works. After 20 or 25 minutes, you'll
begin to feel deeply relaxed. You'll
begin to experience a flow of energy
coming into your mind and body.
You'll have a tremendous sense of
well-being. At this point, you'll be
ready to get the full benefit of these
moments of contemplation.
The incredible thing about solitude
is that if it is done correctly, it works
just about 100 percent of the time.
While you're sitting there, a river of
ideas will flow through your mind.
You'll think about countless subjects
in an uncontrolled stream of consciousness.
Your job is just to relax
and listen to your inner voice. At a certain
stage during your period of solitude,
the answers to the most pressing
difficulties facing you will emerge quietly
and clearly. You may get several
answers in one period of quiet sitting.
But in any case, you will usually get
the answer to the most important situation
facing you every single time.
When you emerge from this period
of quiet, you must do exactly what has
come to you. It may involve dealing
with a personal relationship. It may
involve starting something or quitting
something. Whatever it is, when you
follow the guidance that you received
in solitude, it will turn out to be exactly
the right thing to do. And it will
usually work out far better than you
could have imagined.
Trust your divine discontent and the
insights you gain from practicing solitude
regularly. Take time to listen to
your emotions and your feelings as to
what makes you happy or unhappy, as
to what feels right or wrong. Never
compromise on what your inner voice
tells you. Develop the habit of listening
to divine discontent and acting on
the guidance you receive.
Learn more about Brian Tracy and
his bestselling program The
Psychology of Achievement.